One would have to decide on a certain set of virtuous standards to begin with.
Biblical standards are one set.
My experience with being sexualy biblicaly virtuous is this; when I lived my life outside the boundaries set in the Bible, it was a compromise and my life was not going in the direction I wanted it to. I suffered. Made wrong choices. Made bad choices. Lost the respect of my children, of those who looked to me as a stable voice of reason in a world of chaos. That is a testimony to my total lack of character.
When I decided to make a firm commitment and stay celebate, my life turned around. I was lonely at times, poor at times, but I was my own woman. I got to know myself and what purpose I wanted in my life. My life took a break from the need to work on a relationship. It was a very nice time actually. I learned to love and respect myself. I kinda surrendered that part of myself and focused on raising my teenage son, and helping JWs leaving find support like this Forum, websites, books, chats, etc.
Then I met a man with the exact same purpose as mine, living like I was. Living out his purpose to serve others. If I had not been living with my level of commitment, if he had not been, we would have never met up or been the succesful couple that we are today. We get things done in the Community not because we are great or virtuous, but because we had the same virtuous vision, and now share the same purpose. This same scenario applies to whatever your purpose or vision is in life.
I'm not saying my way (Biblical standards) are right for everyone. They were right for me. I have experienced so many broken hearted ladies, friends, family and aquaintences who have suffered so much because they did not have a set of standards or life purpose. Sex was fun and shacking up is convenient at times, but the majority of the relationships ended. That's because men and women are not wired the same way. That is why shacking up and casual sex doesn't always end well either. Sex with the deepest commitment is deeply passionate.
For most women sex is love. For most men sex feels good and it would be nice to do it again later. Women have always had the heaviest burden to bear. We get pregnant. We lactate. Men without a purpose can leave and do. Women think like a bowl of spagetti, we can multi-task and every spagetti strand is enterwined at the same time. Men think and live like a waffle, one box at a time. They have to leave one box (stream of thought) to enter another. Chastity is of great benefit to a woman who is a natural nurtering multi tasker. Until that man is ready to jump into permanent commitment box, a womens heart is at risk...
dang.... sorry I've written a novel..all this of course in my humblest of opinions and personal experiences. Love to all~Kate
